i am not first

Motivation is a powerful tool our mind desires in most situations. An ambition of sorts that gives you meaning to act on or for something, and pushes our physical bodies to make the move. It’s a necessity in our world, a dependent, and without it, we fall into dormancy. This is a concept that challenges heart searching, every individual is provoked by something, and that something is uniquely specific to how you think.

At the root of it, there are two types of this inspiration. Nothing more, nothing less. It is either for the glory of God, or for yourself.

We are wired with emotion; fueled on it and gripped by it. There is no situation with which an emotional pull is not somewhat a factor, whether it be in making a decision or the consequences of one, it is existent and it is potent. The pull behind our actions and thoughts are in a way unreliable, like a child amid curiosity, where everything is interesting and nothing is right, we fall victim to our reactive nature and want what is best {what we portray as best} right that minute, no waiting. And we want to throw a Read More

we are His artwork

An artist has a particularly creative skill. An overwhelming combination of composition and delicacy, coarseness, and framework. Their minds weave together all the beauty and sadness cooped up in this world and we as spectator’s awe over every inch of it.

With a multitude of artisans, we have a boundless pit of visionary work to get lost in; whether it be to the beat of a drum set, the soft-spoken violin, the freshly done oil painting, a beautiful new recipe, a book that teaches you something heart wrenching- whatever it may be, we have an avenue of pure human beauty, a welcoming into struggling hearts that walk around our streets with a smile.

And aren’t we so proud of this work? As the artist themselves, do you not imagine they take a step back and admire their accomplishment? That their pride is leaping for joy at the work their own two hands created? I imagine they are dumbfounded at their ability, wondering how they’ve made it here, learned what they have and strove for nothing less.

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“in the days of His flesh”

Have you ever noticed how fragile our flesh is? The lengths with which we go to protect it and to heal it. The shields, pads, and band aids yet with a shock to our system we are broken easily. We are disturbed at our feeble body and its’ destructible center. Until that moment though we wholeheartedly believe we are invincible. Both with our body and our hearts. We seek out power, we desire a courageous build and a tough surface. And we want others to know about it, to trust us with it, and request it. To seem weak, is detestable.

Seem too far-fetched? Think about the way you react to painful news, a broken heart, injury, trauma, stressful situation. Do we not tend to hide our pain? Do we not tell others we are “fine.” Do we not tell ourselves to suck it up, to move on, to deal with it. Or do we feel guilty letting the emotion out, do we apologize for our tears or our anger? Read More

dealing with the change

I am sitting on a dock, toes teasing the water and completely mesmerized by its personality. Not just the ocean itself, but this state. Florida has shown me an indecisive character; one that is beautifully bright and warming one minute, and angered with rain the next. I have learned to carry sunglasses and an umbrella at all times, expect a constant disagreement between wind and humidity, and fall completely in love with its averseness.

To be honest, my first visit I was frustrated with this. Not knowing how to prepare for the day or the possibility of plans changing. The planner in me was livid with inability to fulfill her purpose. It didn’t take long to laugh at this absurd reality of mine. Want to know why? Read More

breaking the rules

Rules are used to dictate a standard; a decree to a way of living or behavior, and what specifically to do or not do in situations. We follow them, we break them, and as generations change many will judge you based on those numbers. It’s a race we run until one day, hopefully, we understand that there’s no prize.

Mine was a sprint. I followed those around me, running and panting after an acceptance that I would never obtain; a status that stole my self-worth and replaced it with conditional love.

These “rules” that I strove to break were a big part of the reason I ran from God; because God dictated these rules and I was not ready to follow them.

A week ago I had a post my resume for Jesus where I discussed the idea that we do not have to prove our worth to follow God, we simply have to choose Him. Read More

the state park that hooked me

Missouri’s Little Oasis

Every now and then I crave the simple; the near and known type of hikes that offer heart pounding peace. Contradiction? I believe there is considerable beauty in an environment that has formed itself into a chameleon- one that can be challenging and tranquil, and all at the same time. In the heart of St. Louis, Missouri there’s a state park near and dear to my heart- Castlewood.

Most of the sought-after hikes of Missouri are out towards the Ozarks, and though mesmerizing, it’s a hidden treasure to have a bountiful state park just a few blocks away. Read More