subtle judgment

Today, I conducted upwards of 80 interviews. Pre-screens that involve a few seconds of “why do you want to work for us?” and “what’s your availability like?” Pertinent questions any employer needs and should ask, and any interviewee should expect to hear. These are the basics, the obvious. These are also the most dangerous for a Christian heart.

This part of business opens hallways of space for the devil to walk right into, and for your mind to greet him at the door. It’s the very crucial and permissible justification that can violently change our faithful heart to a sinful one.

I struggle, daily, with the part of my job that reflects cold judgement. Both on others and myself. When you work solely for and around the public, it’s a beautiful and challenging opportunity. We have the perfect avenue to spread the gospel, to exemplify love, and to show grace; we also have the potential to fall into the devil’s antics of judging first impressions, measuring yourself against others, and building or breaking down pride. Read More

useless in the world

One of the loneliness corners to find yourself in is an overpowering sense of incompetency. We are measured, compared, expected, and taught to fit within the world’s definition of purposed. The flaw in this mindset is the inarguable detriment of inept nature this has on our minds. It’s un-achievable, impossible, non-existent. So, the very real and very tangible emotion of uselessness can wipe our hearts clear of faith, hope, and worth- it leads to that dark corner where you ask yourself, does it really matter that I am here?

Yes, but not by this life’s standards and requirements.

Picture a handmade clay pot. It is designed to hold something, to store, to carry. It has a purpose behind its creation. Yet, it is fragile and delicate, easily broken, and cheap in material. We are a clay pot among a perishing world. In our flesh, we are frail and weak; Read More

in God’s timing

There is security in a well thought out plan, an absoluteness to the success of an event or meeting. Most of us, have been taught fervently to think things through, use a planner, write out ideas, and assure profit. It’s called being prepared, being smart, or being proactive. Myself one of them, I tend to lean on the foundation of these ideas. Anxiety will take over if I am not overseeing the conclusion.

I have been forced to overcome this reality for the past two years of my life. Why? Because in Jesus I am not in control.  It is not the details I write down, the possibilities I explore, or the preparation I put into place that takes dominion over my life- my savior is the only authority and the sole regulator to who I am and what I do.

What a freeing truth that is. Read More

the strength in trust

There’s an undisclosed expectation that we walk around in; an assumption of action, trait, or juncture that has somehow been deemed the way of approval. It’s the conception that strength is the way to successfully move through life, showing no fear, and feeling capable within all circumstances. At some point weakness gained a connotation of inadequacy. That to show uncertainty or wavering faith is unwelcomed and scoffed.

I hear this statement, or some version of it, many times among believers: I am not strong enough to trust God. Just writing that hurts my heart for those that fall into this misconstrued thought process that connects our trust with societies’ opinion on strength. Because here’s the issue. Normally when this conversation is brought up, it is in Read More

conquering the enemy

Time is elusive. We can stand still, unaware of moments, events, logic; we can move forward, oblivious to the dust tumbling in our paths. We get lost- mentally our minds separate from our bodies, apart from our awareness, and we end up in a place we don’t recognize. For some, it’s dark, lonesome, and still. For others, its crowded, loud, and overpowering. There’s a middle ground too, where placidity consumes us- standing, breathing, conscious, but inactive. We have the capability of being so engrossed, we confuse reality. That’s how powerful our minds are, that’s how detriment the enemy is.

In a heartbeat, he enters, and in a breath, he strikes. He can taste vulnerability miles away and it fuels his diligence. He’s attentive to the things of our life that holds us captive, that weakens our knees, and sheds light on the holes of our heart. The ideas and Read More

coping with Jesus

There are often moments of disgruntlement; times we are irked at something in our lives that doesn’t make sense, and we lack the words or understanding to deal with it. It’s an impartial emotion, an unfinished scene. We wait for the big reveal, the climax, and the conclusion; but many leave the audience dissatisfied.

There is a wire within us that threads our desire to comprehend, to make sense of everything we do and say. But it’s a sparking fuse, incomplete, potentially dangerous, yet we keep thrusting power through. It’s always a question within a struggle- what caused it, why is it happening, how do I get through?

It’s lacking. Do we ever fully feel assured in those answers?

A common reaction to these insufficient feelings, is questioning the universe, or faith. Birthed from our innate wondering, we ask each other if faith is simply a coping mechanism. Read More