I often feel as though my spirit is quite dauntless; seeking out the fresh air and winding hills, craving the adventure and freedom that comes with it. This characteristic is both beautiful and reckless. I either catch myself amidst pure beauty or hopelessly lost on a path- either way emotionally felt and revved.
Though the trait in itself is not bad for me, if not focused on the right things it can lead me astray; down a road of confusion, pain and regret; unware of how to turn back-
Except I do know. It’s always the same answer, just easily forgotten.
Acts 3:19 says “Therefore repent and return…” Return. Meaning, at any and all times I am allowed and able to find my way back towards God. It means I may be running down a trail, aimlessly following the dirt before me, but if I turn around, He will be there. He is with me, watching me, and if I fall He has me.
I see my wandering spirit as that of a child’s- crossing the street, not wearing a helmet, talking to strangers- and God is the parent there to clean us up and love us in miss-judgments. In a sense, this behavior will never change. We will always be the clueless, audacious children that believe they know everything; that believe they are grown up, and can do it on their own; that believe they are wise enough to participate in life far beyond their years.
Every time in our assurance, we are wrong.
Some may find this demeaning, I find this overwhelmingly beautiful; that unconditionally, we have a Father that will never leave us, even when we leave Him; that will never degrade us, even when we take the glory.
And quite frankly, if everything I believed to be true or correct was in fact accurate, I would be fearful for this life. Because I do not know everything and in the midst of evil and hatred, I am happy to let God take it. The thought of relying wholeheartedly on my own strength and knowledge brings my knees to the ground in utter surrender.
We are meant to be the children in this story. We are designed to seek Him and His divine wisdom. We are destined to sin and fall and fail, countless times over, because of our inevitability to need Jesus. You can’t have one without the other; otherwise, there would be no point. We would have no true purpose or meaning as to what we do, because in the end it will all perish. So why not let our Father in heaven be the parent, and as His children follow- even in our disobedience.
I’m sure I will forever chase the open skies and inclined trails, but as long as God is behind me when I turn around, I know that I am on the right path. In all things let your end goal be worthy of meeting and glorifying Whom it deserves. Though I meander through adventures and seek out thrill, my desire to do so is (and should be) in all aspects to bring me closer to Him. He meets me there, and cleans me up when I fall.
Isaiah 45:22 Turn to me and be saved, all the ends of the earth; For I am God, and there is no other