The night air is cooler than the last few; this time with a light shiver wandering about my porch. My mind full with a little bit of everything, so I pause to realize I can’t keep up with myself. A habit, you could say, to let life get in the way. Where all of a sudden, every inch of material, sorrow, hatred, disappointment, busyness, and greed fall into my hands as liquor, a drug, or tears. They’re laden; numb to the tips and my thoughts are still rampant.
Suddenly, inside a crashing noise sounds and my body turns to full throttle jumping inside to see the glass shards of whatever unique, expensive antique you want it to be, lying on the floor.
An emotional outbreak erupts within my soul as I feel the last straw break my strength. Falling, fast, to a floor that is burning with mockery and so far down I cannot see it.
And then I ask the one question that inevitably invades, “why, God?”
Defeat comes in strides, or moments, if you will. A time of our life that feels out of reach, as if you could be looking at yourself from a distance and still feel smothered. We tend to lose ourselves in specific attributes- work, love, money- and then place them on a pedestal so that it consumes our entire heart.
And then we yell. We blame God for the struggle and for feeling abandoned- for not understanding our needs and our prayers.
But let me ask you something: are you as quick to anger when you realize your trust in God has fallen? Or when you recognize the desertion of your relationship with Him?
One of the greatest faults in our human nature is the constant inattention we have towards intangible things. We can’t touch it, so it’s not as important; we can’t hold it, so an emotional connection is stagnant; it is complex to grasp it, because we cannot physically see it.
God, and our relationship with Him, is elusive to the naked point of view. We are constantly putting our conversations and emotions with those in flesh above our creator, why? Because automatically we know that they are without any question alive and real. But God, being impalpable to us here, allows the enemy to attack our trust as easily as it would be to flip a switch.
Two points of thought:
- Our relationship with the Lord may not be embodied, but that does not mean we can act like it is not there. It is easy to convince ourselves that giving Him attention can wait another night, because there isn’t necessarily anyone to hold you accountable. Accept there is. Romans 1 verse 20 states “For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made, So they are without excuse.” Essentially, God holds us responsible for the refusal to choose Him, acknowledge Him, and follow Him. If this is so, and if we as believers accept this fact, then why is building our bond, and learning more about who Jesus is, not a priority in our lives. Because if it was, then there would be no room for anger over something so simple as a glass tipping over.
- One of the golden questions about choosing to believe in God is, “if there is a God, why do bad things happen to good people?” There are a few different takes on this but one of mine is this: why would the devil attack those that are not a threat to him? The closer we get to God, the more the devil tries to win us back. To me, that’s simple. But here’s why. Satan is not all knowing, he is a coward and has already been defeated. His time ends with the return of Jesus; therefore, I find triumph in knowing that because of God’s amazing grace I have already surpassed Satan as well. If that doesn’t work, then I remind myself that he cannot do anything without God’s permission. This reassures me of God’s purpose for everything in my life and gives me courage to stand my ground when those battles arise.
James 4: 7 submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you
So the moment that lamp breaks, TV, antique, whatever the last straw is for you, let yourself first fall to your knees before God, praying for His glory- nothing will destroy the enemy more than that.
Fun fact: the definition of “moment” is an indefinitely short period of time, an instant. God, our Lord, is eternal.